Taking Care of Yourself When You're in the Sandwich Generation with Caregiver Therapy

2 days ago
4 min read

Caring for children can feel like a full-time job all on its own. There's the constant coordination of schedules, routines, school events, meals, appointments, and the ongoing effort to keep everyone safe while the rest of life continues moving at full speed.

For some people, the responsibility doesn't stop there. Alongside raising children, they're also helping aging parents navigate health concerns, changing needs, and the realities that come with growing older. In these moments, caregiver therapy can offer a space to catch your breath when it feels like everyone needs something at the same time, and there's never quite enough of you to go around.

Many caregivers become so focused on meeting the needs of others that they stop noticing what their own mind and body have been trying to say. The exhaustion is easy to explain away. The stress becomes normal. The idea of making space for yourself can even start to feel selfish.

The truth is you cannot sustainably care for everyone else if there is no room left for your wellbeing. It's important to realize that taking care of yourself is not selfish. In fact, by taking care of yourself, you are better able to care for those around you.

What Is the Sandwich Generation?

The "sandwich generation" refers to adults who are supporting both their child and their aging parents at the same time. Maybe you're helping a teenager navigate school, sports, or college applications while also managing a parent's doctor appointments, medications, finances, or daily care. Many people are doing all of this while working full time and trying to maintain relationships, friendships, and some version of their personal lives. Research shows that nearly one in three caregivers are also raising children while balancing caring for an adult loved one and work. This is a lot for one person to handle.

The Question Many Caregivers Don't Say Out Loud

We notice that many people in this situation carry an unspoken question: who takes care of me? The reality is that caregivers often become experts at responding to other people's needs while losing touch with their own. The days become packed with responsibilities, logistics, and decisions. Even basic self-care can start to feel like the least important task on an already overwhelming list. This can make you feel like taking care of yourself is just another burden to bear. If you have ever looked at a list of self-care suggestions and thought, "Great, another thing on the to-do list that I don't have time for," you are not alone.

Two Things Can Be True at the Same Time

One of the challenges of being in the sandwich generation is carrying experiences that seem contradictory.

You can love your parent and feel overwhelmed by their needs. You can love your children and feel like you don't have enough left for yourself at the end of the day. You can feel grateful for your family and resent the amount of pressure you're carrying. You can feel connected and lonely at the same time.

At Artesian Collaborative, we believe it's important to tell the truth about these difficult experiences. From a mental health perspective, these feelings are not evidence that you are failing. They're evidence that you're human.

Boundaries Help You Stay in the Relationship

Many caregivers worry that setting boundaries means caring less. We see it differently. Boundaries are not a sign that you love your family less. They are often what makes it possible to keep showing up without losing yourself.

Boundaries help us acknowledge a difficult truth. Our time, energy, emotional bandwidth, and financial resources are finite. That might mean:

Asking a sibling or another family member for help
Declining commitments you don’t have the capacity for
Limiting how much caregiving you can do in a day
Communicating your needs more directly
Letting “good enough” be enough

Boundaries are not about distancing yourself from the people you love. They are about creating a sustainable way to remain connected to them.

Practical Ways to Care for Yourself While Caring for Others

When life feels stretched thin, we often don't need another complicated strategy. We need realistic, doable practices. Some ways to care for yourself while caring for others include:

Taking short breaks before and after caregiving interactions
Connecting with friends, family, faith communities, or support groups
Sharing your needs instead of assuming you should carry everything alone
Practicing saying no when your capacity is genuinely limited
Creating space to grieve changes and losses, both large and small

Grief is often part of life. Sometimes it is grief over a parent's declining health. Sometimes it is grief over lost time, changing family roles, or the version of yourself that had more energy and flexibility. Making space for those emotions matters.

Healing Happens in Community

One of the biggest lies caregivers hear is that they should be able to handle everything themselves. We do not buy that. Healing happens in community. Support matters. Diverse responses to caregiving are normal. People do not have to weather hard things alone. In fact, turning to caregiver therapy or asking for support is often one of the healthiest things a caregiver can do.

When You Need Support for Yourself

If you're part of the sandwich generation, support does not have to become another impossible task on your calendar. Telehealth caregiver therapy can offer accessible support when time is scarce, while in-person therapy can provide intentional space away from the demands of caregiving.

Caregiving can be meaningful. It can also be overwhelming. Both are true. If you're carrying the weight of multiple generations on your shoulders, we want you to know you don't have to hold all of it by yourself.

Ready for Support?

At Artesian Collaborative, our team helps people navigate life's complicated seasons by translating mental health science into practical skills that can be used in real life. Whether through telehealth or in-person caregiver therapy, we're committed to walking with people through risky, hard, deeply human experiences without pretending they have easy answers. Because taking care of yourself isn't separate from caring for your family. It's part of it.